Poetry

"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.  And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than you right hand.  It really is the most poetic thing about physics: you are all stardust.  You couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren't created at the beginning of time.  They were created in the nuclear furnaces of the stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode.  So, forget Jesus.  The stars died so that you could be here today."

Lawrence Krauss

The Weather Wasn't Like It Used To...

I'm supposed to be leaving home soon, to be going to the cinema with some of my friends for the last time.  It should be good but I can't help thinking that all this wind and rain outside is all a bit... off-putting.  Ever since the country's had record breaking temperatures a few years back it seem like the sun has given up on itself and allowed the clouds to suffocate us.

I wake up every morning looking forward to the time I could have but instantly hearing the wind and rain against my bedroom window, it knocks out all the motivation and enthusiasm that I have.

*sigh*

Boredom

With just about a fortnight to go until university life officially begins, I have completely run out of things to do.  I've recently been trying to fill up the empty time by going out and seeing everyone and everything but it's all so costly.  There's got to be something that I can enjoy doing from home whilst I wait for my course to begin.

However it's not all boredom, I started my A2 Level Chinese on Saturday and I've discovered that there's another ton of vocabulary and sayings that I never knew.  Trying to fill up the days with learning solely these is tedious, you can't make my life any more monochrome.

On another note, I've begun to realise that the friends I want to see the most are the ones who I won't be able to see in the next 4-8 years of my life.  Those who are closer, location-wise, don't seem to be as warm and ambient any longer, it's like we're losing touch already.

Ahh, life.

Fed Up

I'm tired of being me.  I hate having people who want to know about me.

It only takes 5 seconds for a human being to make a first impression of you, and maybe this is where I went wrong.  Maybe I make myself look vulnerable and so people find it easier to lash out on me instead of others.  Or maybe they learn that I'm more of a person who gives little response from what I receive.

OK I'm aware that a lot of people are going through hard times, leaving few people with enough money to get by and I fully appreciate the fact that I wasn't caught up in the recession as badly as other people I know of.  But even I have to get my hands dirty and burn a hole in my account to pay off things that are my responsibility.  Yet as soon as I stop, the moment I decide that I should treat myself to a break, these people who want to know me, criticise me.

I'm trying my best, I want to get back on my own feet too.  Just that the people who are further behind, they think that I shouldn't take advantage of the fact that I'm ahead.

Being ahead has its consequences, there'll be more eyes laid upon you scrutinising the moves you make and your whole life consists of treading on thin ice.

Jealousy is what I would call it, but some would call me childish for that.  I think of it as, maybe I just happen to want more than most people, to achieve more, to aim higher.  Perhaps I work harder for what I want, work longer and faster.  All this, just so I can keep in a proportional rate of the people who aren't aiming for as much as I, and people who work a little bit more laid-back and slower.  I don't have everything, hardly anyone ever does.

It just so happens what I have is all someone else needs, but it's not enough for me to live on.