[rant]
Today, like the precedent Monday, was a day packed of irritation, annoyance and irascibility, and I didn't even have to try and make it as displeasing as possible for myself to experience so early on in the week, it simply worked out naturally, all by itself. I don't know why I decided to stay behind to help people. It's probably because I knew them too well enough to abandon them and most possibly has something to do with countering all this altruistic doubt people seem to automatically cast upon me. But let me remind those said people first: The reason that I am a selfish and stingy person is because I know that by being altruistic there is no way I can get things done. Ever.
Which is why I'm going to decide once in for all - I will balance these two extremities and you'll have no choice but to time your work ethic in sync with the pace I'm going to go at. Please, don't leave it until the last minute, because I know this and have it in mind each time I do something like this. I'd really prefer to go through things at my own pace rather than on borrowed time. You see, people seeking my help is really either a means of me passing time by or simply throwing my life away for no benefits for myself. I sincerely hope that no one intends for me to opt for the latter rationale.
It's just not been a good day. I'm just glad that I have the emotional capacity to withstand the barrage of requests, blindly assuming that I'm still going to be mentally stable after going through the same piece of work numerous times.
I didn't want to personally repeatedly rant this to a privately selected handful of contacts available to my convenience, it clearly wasn't their will to want to know what's going on inside my head. How convenient it is to blog something for those who do want to take time out...
[/rant]
