Thursday 2nd July 2009

With only 8 days to go, it feels as if I have been waiting for an entire eternity for this trip to become a near future event. I need to start deciding what I need to take with me, I need to properly plan my lessons too, after missing my Slovak session on Thursday last week I missed out on the oppurtunity to plan them with Adam.

It's been a funny day, as it was for the week, but today especially. <>, a film I never thought I'd get that emotionally attatched to, about WW2, a story of an Italian Jewish caught up in the horrors of The Holocaust. The sight of the pile of dead bodies, still remains vividly clear in my head, haunting me whenever I try to clear my mind, it comes back, again and again, the unnatural positions in which a human body can bend to, the distinct paleness of the skin, the mass of it that amounted in front of Guido, these are the things that need to be shown to people to get them to feel more of the full power of this pain.

That was the theme for me today, all day, was appreciation of things. Not everyone's an absolutist and not everyone is that extrovert. Me for example, I may not react much to many things, no matter how good or bad they are, but I can assure it's overwhelming inside, only used for when I'm on my own, to bask myself in my deeper feelings. Passion - both intense and surreal, to keep me on my track, to drive me to do so many things I've always wanted to do when I was younger. Now beginning to take them up, it's slightly fulfilling, but they are still dreams, never would I get to the stage where I had always hoped to be.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs - where would I be on that? I wouldn't know, a small fraction of everything seems to be filled in, polarised moods I guess. I've written too much, I'll stop now.