Could this be? This affection of Josh's has come across me quite strongly since yesterday. I understand that someone could be heartbroken when one finds out that one was being used, but this sort of reaction goes beyond that level compared to how he usually is and this puzzles me a great deal.
We were out in the middle of nowhere again this afternoon, where the sun would almost always be there, where Josh&Co. and the band would hang about, where we did so many photo shoots because of the great scenery... it was a bad choice to go there today, I decided to detach myself, not just from the particular individual[s] but from everything else too. That was when I regretted going there - he just sat there, not making a sound and from the peripheral vision that I have, his gaze was towards me.
I thought he just wanted to tackle me to the ground and squeeze the life out of me like all the other times when he does this, but I was embraced with two light arms, slowly tightening, accompanied with a soft and almost-silent sigh... Never have I experienced this with anyone or through any thought of mine, how imaginative it can be, left me in this electrifying ambiance, flutters surging down my spine leaving me immobilized, tranquilized, lost.
That's what I was. Lost. Engulfed in utter confusion, having not thought of an appropriate way to react to this newly acquainted encounter, only then was when I surrendered my deadlocked arms, to give into what I suspected to be a friend in great need by sliding my arms through from under his and resting my head on its side on his right shoulder.
We did make a pact on marking out our intimate borders once, only today it was broken and this had made me realise - Had we put up these borders because we were afraid of the unknown? Because that we would never know how to deal with these situations? Close friends getting closer, or has my soft spot gotten too big?
Actually, thinking down this direction has put me off completely from switching the topic of today's entry, I guess I'll just leave it at that.
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