People have been... different. Unusually different and scarily unexpected. Yet I continue to wallow in my sorrow, to know that they're afraid of getting serious for when it comes to me. There's nothing left here for me now, all I can do is be happy around them, that alone is enough to satisfy their expectations.
There's nothing more that I can do, any more then people will hate me again. I've gone back into place, turned my back once again on my social needs and have poured my heart into education. That's the way it's going to be, no one's willing to put in that much effort anymore, not after a year into our college lives.
Sometimes I think, I'm just someone that people take me as "an extra somebody" that they know of, for their popularity status. But who would want to mention me? What good have I done since I was allowed my freedom to do what I want?
That was the other thing; this idea of freedom. I yearned so much for it throughout my secondary school years, but even now when I've been given the access to it, I only tear my own life down. I know now why parents never allow children to do such things, sure it swells the curiosity for when the opportunity arises, but it keeps us safe, innocent, unharmed.
But no, things like this I force myself into learning it the hard way.
What a mess indeed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment